Cheaper By The Dozen Review

You come out of "Cheaper by the Dozen" more than a little baffled. Is it meant to be an inspiring drama intended at self-sacrificing parents? Or is it a 'zany' comedy about spirited children designed for the under-12s? The answer is that it's an uneasy combination of both. A remake of a 1950 flick, the movie finds Steve Martin as a Dad of not three, not four, but twelve kids. While he coaches a local American football team, wife Kate - "Jerry Maguire's" ever charming Bonnie Hunt - has given up on her journalism career to look after her many offspring, but life is good. But then Dad gets offered his dream job coaching a top team in Chicago and the family reluctantly ups sticks and moves, only to see their mother depart on a book tour when her memoirs are published. Will Dad hold together the family while Mum's away or will he have to choose between his career and his kids?

This being the kind of gooey yawn fest that it is, I don't think I'd be giving away anything to say that the final credits have Dad back where he belongs in an appalling Christmas jumper at the head of the table with "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" on loop. Which would all be fine and dandy if the movie didn't depend on sub-"Home Alone" pranks for its few laughs and boast the most annoying gang of children in recent cinema history. Martin, meanwhile, looks horribly lost in such mediocre material and is even upstaged in the comedy stakes by an uncredited Ashton Kutcher playing what he does best, the doofus boyfriend. Steve? Time to get a better agent.