Resident Evil: Apocalypse Review

You don't go along to a "Resident Evil" pic expecting an existentialist masterpiece but even those who spend their days hard-wired into their Playstations might be a tad disappointed with Milla Jovovich's truly dumb video game sequel.

The plot, such as it is, finds Jovovich's zombie assassin Alice waking up from a drug-induced coma to find that the undead she fought in the original flick have been released into Racoon City.

And as she escapes from the clutches of the evil Umbrella corporation, she realises that it wasn't just sleeping pills they put in her system but zombie genes which have granted her even more remarkable powers of arse-kickery. Handy if you and a group of survivors have to get out the city before it and its undead inhabitants get nuked and you've got a nasty creature code-named Nemesis to deal with.

Yep, make no bones about it, this is stupid stuff indeed. But is it so stupid, it's actually great fun? Well, only in patches.

After a beginning that makes even the start-up on my old Acorn look speedy in comparison, Alice's entrance astride a motorbike crashing through a church's stained glass window will make the fanboys cheer in the aisles while a couple of undead hookers looking for a different kind of necking are hilarious and some very peckish kiddie zombies are particularly terrifying.

But even supremely silly action pics need characters you care for, a smattering of snappy dialogue and a sense of well-orchestrated mayhem. Even the corporate satire turns out to be soggier than a day-old corpse in a zombie pic that ends up boasting far more blood than brains.